Looking back, The Husband and I see our waiting and wrestling as a blessing. I'm not saying we called it a blessing at the time. I remember the gut-wrenching sobs after our baby died. I have not forgotten having to use the fake happy face that covered up sometimes emotionless and sometimes rebellious feelings. Most disturbingly, I have not forgotten the inability to be happy for family and friends who seemed to constantly be sharing "good news."
But looking back, by the time they were born, we realized the immensity of the blessing of children, and we still thank God for them every day. I hope I never take them or the ability to be home with them for granted. I have never said, "I can't wait until he can _____" (fill in the blank) but instead have tried to enjoy their growing and learning and at least tolerate their more trying stages. (May I just say that I am thankful to be finished potty training?)
I have a necklace with the verse, "For this child I prayed" from I Samuel imprinted on it, which reminds me every time I look at it of the intense desire and prayer that preceded each of their births. Cosnequently, it reminds me to be more intentional in raising them right now. God did not give us these children for us to just watch and see what happens. He charged us with some serious responsibilities to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4) and "Train up a child in the way he should go" (Pro. 22:6). As far as I can tell, these are not commands we could follow unintentionally.
My complaints and impatience creep in too often, but a look back at tear-stained journal pages from the waiting years or Hannah's prayer in I Samuel always reminds me that these are my blessings that God is allowing me to take care of for a few years, only to be given back to His service when they are ready. Oh, how I pray they will be profitable servants!