Thursday, September 8, 2011

Intentional Parenting

Both of our children's births were intentional. No accidents here. Like Jacob who wrestled with an angel for a blessing in Genesis 32:24-31, we wrestled in prayer for the blessing of our children.  And similar to Jacob's consequential limp, we also are left with a hole in our hearts after losing our first baby.

Looking back, The Husband and I see our waiting and wrestling as a blessing.  I'm not saying we called it a blessing at the time.  I remember the gut-wrenching sobs after our baby died.  I have not forgotten having to use the fake happy face that covered up sometimes emotionless and sometimes rebellious feelings.  Most disturbingly, I have not forgotten the inability to be happy for family and friends who seemed to constantly be sharing "good news."

But looking back, by the time they were born, we realized the immensity of the blessing of children, and we still thank God for them every day.  I hope I never take them or the ability to be home with them for granted.  I have never said, "I can't wait until he can _____" (fill in the blank) but instead have tried to enjoy their growing and learning and at least tolerate their more trying stages.  (May I just say that I am thankful to be finished potty training?)

I have a necklace with the verse, "For this child I prayed" from I Samuel imprinted on it, which reminds me every time I look at it of the intense desire and prayer that preceded each of their births. Cosnequently, it reminds me to be more intentional in raising them right now.  God did not give us these children for us to just watch and see what happens.  He charged us with some serious responsibilities to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4) and "Train up a child in the way he should go" (Pro. 22:6).  As far as I can tell, these are not commands we could follow unintentionally.

My complaints and impatience creep in too often, but a look back at tear-stained journal pages from the waiting years or Hannah's prayer in I Samuel always reminds me that these are my blessings that God is allowing me to take care of for a few years, only to be given back to His service when they are ready.  Oh, how I pray they will be profitable servants!

Shared with: Titus 2sday  and Gratituesdays


Aunt Tee said...

Amen. May God give you much grace as you walk this wonderful path called "motherhood."

AMAY said...

I wish I could say I have never said "I can't wait until...." I have said it too much, and always feel the condemnation of rebellion when I do. I have the verse from Samuel on a decoration in my house, and each time I look at it when I am struggling with a tough parenting day, it strengthens me. Maybe I should get a necklace so that I have that verse with me all the time. Would you consider imitation flattery or lack of imagination? You and your husband are wonderful parents, and seeing you both with your boys inspires me to better things. God Bless.

Lisa Grace said...

Love this! Motherhood is the most important thing I will ever do with my life, the most precious journey I will ever get to walk ... with the greatest reward I can sow into eternity!