Contributed by The Husband
Every day at lunch time, a business man and his wife walk past a pet shop. One day, the owner sets a parrot outside in a cage. The parrot rants constantly at passersby.
On the third day the couple passed, the parrot says, "Hey, you" to the man. A little confused, the man walks over to the parrot. "Yes?"
"You are the ugliest man I have ever seen walking down this sidewalk. And your wife is fat."
The wife storms into the pet store and informs the owner. The owner comes out and beats the parrot until feathers fly, puts him back in the cage, and tells him to never speak to anyone in this manner again. The man and wife seem satisfied with this and move on.
The next day the couple strolls past the pet store, and the parrot says, "Hey, you." This time the man approaches the parrot defensively. "What?"
The parrot replies, "You know."
Those of you who know The Husband or his family might recognize this as "Number 24." Long ago they assigned a number to each standard joke so that they could spend less time telling and more time laughing. Have a happy day.